20 Something Girl

I don’t think being different will ever be easy. I will always be set apart. There are times when it’s slightly more bearable, but it’s never easy. But. It’s given me a freedom that do appreciate. I’m never afraid to go my own way, because I’ve been doing it my whole life. I was always the only ‘disabled’ kid in class, smashed super low expectations by setting high goals, and did what people didn’t expect (sports, performance, whatever). The stares, mocking, and prejudice have made me brave. I’ve always had to walk alone so, if my heart is pulling into unconventional territory, I’m not afraid to go. I guess what I’m realizing is that in the darkest and most painful parts of our lives, there is always gratitude to be found.

The only constant in life is change. Love it or hate it, it’s true. For so long I’ve had this idea in my head that once I get to a certain point in my life, I would hit my stride and things would get easier. It doesn’t work like that though. When I was in highschool I thought that point would be college. Once I was in college, I thought things would start to make sense after graduation. And so on and so forth…and now I find myself in completely familiar unfamiliar territory.  

I’m building something again. I didn’t like my life, so I let go of the things that no longer served the me I want to be. I’ve completely shead my former life, and now I’m waiting for the next step. It’s a slow and tedious process, but I know that on the other side is just another piece of the puzzle. Not the answer to all of my questions or perfection. Just another piece to get me to the next step. I think the trick is to appreciate things where you are, and try not to waste too much time looking backward or too far ahead. My present life is an exercise in stillness I guess. That’s the gift.  

1. When changing lanes while driving, use your freakin’ signal! It’s not optional!!

2. Ladies, please don’t wear white underwear with thin black leggings. I’m begging you. You’re better than that.

3. Calling yourself ‘H.B.I.C’ or a ‘boss’ in a non-ironic fashion doesn’t make it true. It makes you look sad.

4. Being polite is everything. Try it. You’ll like it.

5. Be kind to your parents. Unless they screwed up your childhood, in which place fuck ‘em.

6. Guys, Valentine’s Day matters.

7. Being an adult is all about the willingness to  say “I don’t know” and “I’m sorry”. A lot.

8. As cheesy as it sounds, the greatest love of all is ACTUALLY inside of you. Trust me. I’ve done the proper research.

9. Chivalry isn’t dead. I just saw his ass at The Grove. He’s really overweight and was sweating a lot, but still very much alive.

10. You are complete, beautiful, and perfect. Not as perfect as Ryan Gosling, but you’re still pretty damn awesome.